When we think of tears, we think of tears of sadness, tears of joy, or tears of pain. What we do not realize is tears are instruments of healing, especially when tears are the product of sorrow. Our spirit seeks healing. Tears release this inner turmoil we experience when we are sad or hurt.
We are told to be brave, keep a stiff upper lip, or hide our emotions when we are children. As adults, we push our emotions down into the nether reaches of our spirit and slip into our mask of happiness. We try to pretend that everything is great-no worries. We lie to ourselves trying to convience ourselves that all is well. We block the flow of tears-cleansing tears.
You may ask, “If tears are born of sorrow and pain, how can they be cleansing?” Tears pull the sorrow and pain into the here and now. Tears make us face are hurts. Tears wash away the dark that covers our spirits when we experience hurt. Tears clear the clouds that cover our eyes and allow us to see the truth of our lives. When we face our truths, we can begin to face the tasks needed to move away from the hurt and pain and begin to move toward the light of happiness and new beginnings.
Allowing our tears to flow too much does not lead to healing, but instead leads to increased pain and hurt. We have to take control of our emotions allowing ouselves time to grieve and time to grow. If we cannot allow growtth to mix with our growth, we will be stuck in our grief. If we stay stuck in our grief, we cannot allow growth. We remain in a prison of our own making-a prison of fake and blocked emotions.
How do we know when we are mixing our grief and our growth in just the right proportion? The answer to that question is simple but also complicated. When our grief begins to become less and our growth begins to increase, then we are mixing the two in the right proportions. How do we do that? We can accomplish the task by setting a specific time to grieve. Each day we limit the amount of time we allow ourselves to grieve. This must be a conscious decision, a decision in which we use all our will power to adhere to the plan. Yes we we will have those days that sorrow holds us in its grip, but we should see fewer and fewer of those type of days if we stick to the plan.
What is the plan? The plan is as simple as setting a timer, determining a specific amount of time to cry, and wiping away those tears and putting our emotions aside until our next allotted time to cry. Cry in those times; donothing else but cry. Set your time for no more than 10 minutes. Onthe first day, you may set the timer every hour. Do this for a two to three days. After the initial set times, begin extending the time between settings until you are no longer experiencing tears daily. Continue until the grief is less than the growth. This exercise will help you turn your tears into rainbows that shine at the end of the emotional storm. Just like the rainbow that comes at the passing of a thunderstorm, you will discover the rainbow of the soul comes after the malstorm of grief, pain, and sorrow.
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